It's back to school time, and guess what the first few weeks are over and that initial adjustment period is gone. So now it's time to get down to the real learning and growing. As a Mom or Dad this means its time to get to work. Well, for most parents this is fairly cut and dried, but for those of us with ADD it's just not quite that simple. Over the years I have struggled with keeping up school work as much (if not more) than my kids. Even as an at- home Mom this has been a struggle that I have often messed up or lost all together. As a working parent with ADD it's down right nerve racking. I have to admit that last year I pretty much crashed and burned at certain parts of the school year. I just couldn't keep up.
Why? First of all, please remember that one of the constant struggles of ADD is short and long term memory problems. Another is quickly becoming overwhelmed when trying to balance multiple stressful issues. Remember that each High School student has at least 6 classes. That is 6 teachers you have to keep up with per child. While you may have an IEP (Individual Educational Plan) or a 504 Plan (a plan for education of kids with special needs), these are basically just writing and aren't worth the paper they are written on unless the parent consistently enforces the plan. For example, the administrator of the plan for one of my children was his first period teacher who happened to be the band teacher. He didn't even look at it until the last few months of school, and called to ask me what he had to do to conduct a review/ evaluation meeting at the end of the year. This gentleman was a great band teacher but had absolutely no knowledge about ADD or any disability. He hadn't volunteered for the job, and was had no idea what it entailed. As far as he was concerned, it was just a technicality of his job as a band teacher.
Second, you must remember that I constantly struggle just to remember to read my email. While many schools have interet access and school programs to allow students and parents to view assignments and see grades online such as Edline or Edmoto, I found that teachers are required to keep these updated ever week or two, but the majority of them are a month behind in grading and do not update their sites but every few months. So the few times I remember to check Edmoto, most of the teachers don't have any updates, assignments, or grades posted. Usually what is posted is a month or two behind. Most of the current assignments that were posted we vague and referred to books and class terms and abbreviations which I didn't understand and couldn't even figure out.
Naturally, I turned to my son for answers, and all I got was the same phrase over and over. " Oh I did that already." or "I turned that in, she just hasn't posted the grade yet." So I am pretty much relying on the student who wasn't keeping up with assignments and that's why we needed the intervention from the start.
Revelation: Yes, it can be a frustrating and vicious cycle. Where is the answer? After at least 10 years of struggling with various schools and teachers and different kids with different needs and IEP's, I can honestly say..."I don't know!!" You may ask-- "What's the point?" Well I must admit, I have asked myself that many times too. The bottom line is that the student will get only what the parent is able to enforce or keep up with. So in my case, my kids (who need assistance more than average) are stuck with a struggling Mom to match their struggles. My plan is basically to show them my concerted efforts to keep up with it all, and to demonstrate what organization I can bring to the situation.
I am already struggling to remember to check my sons grades and I have emailed one of his teachers to ask how he is doing. I am trying to develop a routine, where I check the school web site at least once a week, and I try to email his teachers at least once every two weeks. Of course, this plan is included in my daily struggle to remember to check my email. (Speaking of that--I need to do right now!) So right now, am struggling right along with my kids to try to keep up with what has become the simple elements of daily living. I HAVE TO develop a set daily routine to do at least these simple things. I have yet to get a daily system or routine that works. Springpad hasn't worked, simply because it is on my Nook and I forget to check it when I don't get around to reading. Evernote has so many technical glitches that I have given up on it. It couldn't sync with anything. It was further behind than I was.
Am I making this too complicated? If you can sympathise with me, you have a thought on this please leave a comment or suggestions as to how to handle keeping up with school assignments and various kids./ schedules.
