Keeping Up With The Grades, Homework and Teachers? HELP!!

It's back to school time, and guess what the first few weeks are over and that initial adjustment period is gone.  So now it's time to get down to the real learning and growing.  As a Mom or Dad this means its time to get to work.  Well, for most parents this is fairly cut and dried, but for those of us with ADD it's just not quite that simple.  Over the years I have struggled with keeping up school work as much (if not more) than my kids.  Even as an at- home Mom this has been a struggle that I have often messed up or lost all together.  As a working parent with ADD it's down right nerve racking.  I have to admit that last year I pretty much crashed and burned at certain parts of the school year.  I just couldn't keep up.

Why?   First of all, please remember that one of the constant struggles of ADD is short and long term memory problems.  Another is quickly becoming overwhelmed when trying to balance multiple stressful issues.  Remember that each High School student has at least 6 classes. That is 6 teachers you have to keep up with per child.  While you may have an IEP (Individual Educational Plan) or a 504 Plan (a plan for education of kids with special needs), these are basically just writing and aren't worth the paper they are written on unless the parent consistently enforces the plan.   For example, the administrator of the plan for one of my children was his first period teacher who happened to be the band teacher.  He didn't even look at it until the last few months of school, and called to ask me what he had to do to conduct a review/ evaluation meeting at the end of the year.  This gentleman was a great band teacher but had absolutely no knowledge about ADD or any disability.  He hadn't volunteered for the job, and was had no idea what it entailed.  As far as he was concerned, it was just a technicality of his job as a band teacher.

Second, you must remember that I constantly struggle just to remember to read my email.  While many schools have interet access and school programs to allow students and parents to view assignments and see grades online such as Edline or Edmoto,  I found that teachers are required to keep these updated ever week or two, but the majority of them are a month behind in grading and do not update their sites but every few months.  So the few times I remember to check Edmoto, most of the teachers don't have any updates, assignments, or grades posted. Usually what is posted is a month or two behind.   Most of the current assignments that were posted we vague and referred to books and class terms and abbreviations which I didn't understand and couldn't even figure out.

Naturally,  I turned to my son for answers, and all I got was the same phrase over and over.  " Oh I did that already."  or  "I turned that in, she just hasn't posted the grade yet."   So I am pretty much relying on the student who wasn't keeping up with assignments and that's why we needed the intervention from the start. 

Revelation:  Yes, it can be a frustrating and vicious cycle.  Where is the answer?  After at least 10 years of struggling with various schools and teachers and different kids with different needs and IEP's, I can honestly say..."I don't know!!"  You may ask-- "What's the point?"   Well I must admit, I have asked myself that many times too.  The bottom line is that  the student will get only what the parent is able to enforce or keep up with.  So in my case, my kids (who need assistance more than average) are stuck with a struggling Mom to match their struggles.  My plan is basically to show them my concerted efforts to keep up with it all, and to demonstrate what organization I can bring to the situation.  

I am already struggling to remember to check my sons grades and I have emailed one of his teachers to ask how he is doing.  I am trying to develop a routine, where I check the school web site at least once a week, and I try to email his teachers at least once every two weeks.  Of course, this plan is included in my daily struggle to remember to check my email.  (Speaking of that--I need to do right now!)  So right now,  am struggling right along with my kids to try to keep up with what has become the simple elements of daily living.  I HAVE TO develop a set daily routine to do at least these simple things.  I have yet to get a daily system or routine that works.   Springpad hasn't worked,  simply because it is on my Nook and I forget to check it when I don't get around to reading.  Evernote has so many technical glitches that I have given up on it.  It couldn't sync with anything.  It was further behind than I was.

Am I making this too complicated?  If you can sympathise with me, you have a thought on this please leave a comment or suggestions as to how to handle keeping up with school assignments and various kids./ schedules.

Springpad-- Does it really make Everyday better? (My New Test)

As with all Moms and especially for those with ADD I am trying a new program called Springpad.  Springpad is a totally free app that allows you to make many notebooks to keep notes or tasks, and to even "clip" info from the net and save it directly to your notebooks.   It has an Android and Apple app that seem to work well.  It also has an app for my Nook so I can axcess it pretty much anywhere I go.  I have been reading the reviews for this program and they are mostly a mixture.  Either you love it or you just don't like it at all.  Well, it has over 11,000 followers/ users so I figured it's worth a try. 

In the past I have tried Evernote, which I really liked, but it was very difficult and inconvenient to operate for my purposes.  Folks with ADD constantly struggle with organization.  Many times we will turn from what we are doing, get distracted and forget to go back and put the things we used away.  So if your spouse or child has this problem, please undersstand that it isn't done just to frustrate you or to make more work for you.   It's genuinely just "how we are".   At other times we put things away and try to organize and clean up.  The only problem is that most of the time, we cannot remember just where the safe "away" place is.   It may have seemed logical at the time, but often that logic has gone out the window and we now have a whole new thought pattern.

For example, right now I am looking for three things that I have put away, but I cannot remember where I put them.   First, I bought my youngest son  some cute basketball shower shoes about four weeks ago.  Back then, it was still cold and frosty and I didn't want him to bug me over and over about wearing them to school.  (I'm sure lots of Moms can relate to that.)  I remember putting them in a  bag and putting them away somewhere in my bedroom.    I have looked in several regular/ logical places so far, and it seems they are MIA.   Now, he is bugging me about getting some swim shoes.   Wish I could pull a Mom magic trick and give them to him.  Oh well, I will go and buy some more.  Rest assured, I will find them eventually, but most likely it will be in the winter when I don't need them.

Second Example.   During the holidays I joined one of those rewards programs at a local  Major Department Store.   You know the kind where you get cash back for how much you spend in the store.   I received a pretty good store gift card to spend and in my feeble attempt at being organized I put it with a gift card I received to that store for Christmas.   I cleaned out my pocketbook about a month ago (don't judge me ladies), and I decided it was good idea not to carry around over $100 in store credit cards, because I know that we ADD's tend to leave things and loose things.  I took my cards and put them away so I could use them later.  I though they were in my car locked in the glove compartment, but when I went to check Saturday, it was not there -- go figure!!  I had scoped out my sale and even found a coupon code and I was ready to order a new pocketbook that was on a major sale.   Guess what!   The sale is over, and I still cannot find my cards.   I was just too cheap to buy the pocketbook outright,  knowing that I had over $100 in cards that I need to spend fast once I find it..  Why? Because I need to get rid of the gift cards before I loose them.  In looking through my purse I found a grocery store gift card that someone gave me about 2 years ago.  It's just a vicious never ending cycle.  That is why I try my best NOT to get store return credit on a card.

I'll let you know when and if I find the missing shoes and gift cards.  Is it just me, or do "normal"  people have   this problem too.   Tell me your story or leave a comment.   I am looking forward to hearing from you.   To find out more about Springpad click on this link.   Springpad: Everyday life, done better

When Was The Last Time Anyone Walked the Dog?

This morning I am frustrated, angry and a bit surprised.  This is a picture of my new dog leash.  This morning I got up with our usual before school routine.  When the time came to take my dog Casey out to potty, I looked around  but couldn't find   Jay my 15 year old son was supposed to have taken the dog out for me last night and this morning before he went to school.  He didn't put the one leash we have any of the usual places where I can find it.  I looked all over and immediately began to panic.

Of course, I had not eaten yet so I haven't taken my Adderall and my anti- anxiety medications yet.  Before you know it I'm in full panic mode and texting him furiously and repeatedly.  My mind was blown when he admits to me that he didn't take Casey out last night or this morning, and in fact he
"cannot remember" when he has taken her out last.  OK-- now I'm past panicked because you know it is hard for Moms like me to think outside of the normal safe repetitive routine.  Finally, after taking Jordan (my 6 years old)  to the bus to the bus stop, and running for the bust (we were late) as usual, I knew the poor dog was in full panic mode too, because she is running back and forth to the front and the back door really fast.  

I knew I had to do SOMETHING, so I tried my hardest to be creative and stifle my panic mode.
I started to wonder why I had never  bought another leash and then remembered that I was  both too cheap and too forgetful to think of such a thing.  I refuse to go to the store to buy another leash because the poor dog won't last that long, and we will just loose it/ forget where we put it anyway.   I went to the garage and this is what I found.  After a few bulky and incorrect sailor knots, I had a solution of sorts.  Imagine the looks I got walking my poor ghetto fab dog with this tied around her neck.  I was embarrassed for the dog, but not myself.  Besides, my neighbors need to understand that we are a bit weird if they are going to be around us.  Most have already figured it out.  

Just another typical day.  By the way, I also have lost my tennis shoes.  Does anybody know where I may have put them?    Oh well that will be the next post.  Has anyone else ever had this happen to them?

 

Hi This is my first post and I feel led to tell you that I'm supposed to be doing something else, but I can't remember what.  If you think your life is crazy or if you think reality shows are entertaining- THIS is the place for you.  You haven't seen adventure or crazy until you have experienced the life of someone with ADD. 

Having ADD is hard enough, but now add the challenge of being a Mom with ADD trying to parent three kids with ADD (2 currently living at home).   It is down right unbelievable and filled with chaos  So if you have ever doubted that your life can be worse, please sit back and enjoy the fun and adventure in mine.   You will realize that it can be worse, and that it's not so bad if you learn to laugh, cry and just deal with it the best you can.   While you are laughing hopefully you will gain some education and insight into ADD (it's not a mental disease but a "chemical imbalance") and how it's not so bad, but it's just living life in a different way.